Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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