He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
