For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You ruined the universe
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
