I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
