I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
People in love make me want to vomit
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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