Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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