Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize