we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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