Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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