Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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