Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You're a waste of cheezeits
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
