Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
time to smoke my breakfast
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
