my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
