3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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