Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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