you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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