Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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