It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
