We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
