shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize