I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
