im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
