we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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