Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
