I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
