She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
