I think my fart just growled at me.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
