you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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