Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
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