Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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