That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
