if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
