dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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