all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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