that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
