Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize