you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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