Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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