where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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