sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize