I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
