Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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