remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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