Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This is my gift to your gina
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
