Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
