Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
