I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
