she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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