she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So squirting runs in the family.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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