Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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