Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
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I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
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just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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