so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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