I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
