This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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