I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
