you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
