Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
