North Korea, Best Korea!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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