oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
