Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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