I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
