then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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