I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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